The Conversation Code

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To be a great conversationalist, pay attention and become a collector of conversational scripts for specific situations.

Conversations are simply a series of connections and not some nebulous uncontrollable entity.

Patterns
Gather information - digest - reflect

Gift Receiver Script
State Appreciation -- Thank you
Describe the gift -- A rolex
State benefit -- now I'm gunna be shining in the club
Show Appreciation --- Thanks

Gift Givers Script
Acknowledge appreciation  -- you're welcome / glad you like it
provide explanation -- I know how much shining is important to you

CONFRONTATION SCRIPT
Setup the conversation - Hey I need to talk to you
Describe the behavior/action -- remember when you said you were gunna do this and you didn't
Describe the consequences of the action/behavior -- well since it was late, I wasn't able to do x
state your feelings -- i didn't appreciate how you didn't give us a warning
acknowledge their perspective -- i realize you had a tough week but
state desired action or outcome -- i need you to let me know when things are going to be late
state appreciation -- i know being late wasn't intentional so thanks for hearing me out on this

Aristotle Script
tell them what you’re going to tell them -- Hey, I just wanted to touch base about my feelings on the X project.
then tell them -- I was thinking it needs more________,
then tell them what you just told them -- So basically I think we should do _______ with the X project. I just wanted to touch base and make sure we’re on the same page.

ENDING A CONVERSATION 
STATE REASON: Well, I have to go see/do/finish _________. 
POSITIVE WORDS: It was great chatting/seeing/doing ____with you. 3.
REFERENCE POSSIBLE FUTURE EVENT: We should do ______ sometime. / Good luck with the________, I’m sure you’ll do great!

PATs are the secret to speedier responses; rather than digging around your mental closet for articles of clothing to create an outfit, PATs are like pre-assembled outfits, ready to wear. So how can you collect more of these PATs? I’m glad you asked! Some common – and important – PATs can be organized by the following categories: 
Comments, 
common responses to things someone has said or something that has happened
Knowledge, 
Opinions, 
Autobiographical.

Expand your word choices

Give
Take

Unstarred

Dunk (exclude from study)

The Conversation Code

Review Questions

Todos

Sensemaker