Take Back Your Power

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The most common way people give up their power is by thinking they don’t have any.

A free pass is the act of giving ourselves permission to give away our power.

Carol calls this employing “unintentional ridiculous strategies.” No one shows up to a meeting and says to themselves, “I plan to add no value by being here,” or, “I plan to suck the energy out of the room.” But by giving yourself a free pass, that is exactly what you do, whether you intend to or not.

Each time you enter a room, you leave something of yourself behind. Imagine it as a photograph that you leave on the table. What impression did you want to make?

Liu, Deborah. Take Back Your Power (p. 30). Zondervan. Kindle Edition. 
 
Every week, I set a goal of how many times I would participate in each class and wrote it down on the corner of my notebook. Then I rated myself each time I spoke. This way I could control both the quantity and quality of my responses.

Liu, Deborah. Take Back Your Power (p. 31). Zondervan. Kindle Edition.

Not giving yourself a free pass means reframing every obstacle as a learning experience.

Liu, Deborah. Take Back Your Power (p. 31). Zondervan. Kindle Edition.

When you are different from those around you, your point of view will often seem out of step with those of others. But that is precisely why it is so important. Giving yourself a free pass to avoid speaking up means you may miss a vital opportunity. Rather than framing your input as intrusive and contrary, treat it as Ellen did: as additional information that needs to be heard.

Liu, Deborah. Take Back Your Power (p. 33). Zondervan. Kindle Edition.

It is when you are most afraid of being wrong because your point of view is different that you need to listen to that voice and trust it. Bring your perspective to the fore. That thing you see that others miss will feel obvious to you. You will not understand why others don’t see or understand it. Do not shut down your voice to fit in.

Liu, Deborah. Take Back Your Power (p. 35). Zondervan. Kindle Edition.

“A free pass is not free. There’s a huge cost.” Each time you don’t speak up, each time you sit back and don’t speak up, each time you don’t ask for that opportunity, you pay a price. It is invisible but ever-present.

Liu, Deborah. Take Back Your Power (p. 40). Zondervan. Kindle Edition.

If you have an aspiration, start by breaking it down. 
Write down your goal with a two-year to five-year time horizon.
Break down your goal into tangible and achievable units with monthly or quarterly milestones. 
Set a specific amount of time each day to invest in this project. 
Seek accountability through a friend or a group, and set weekly milestones for checking in with them. 
Allow yourself space for setbacks and detours.

“Don’t focus on the next promotion,” she advises. “Instead, focus on broadening your skills so that the next opportunity can be four rungs up the ladder.”

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Take Back Your Power

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