How to Figure Out What You Really Want

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https://jessicadw.com/blog/2020/1/11/how-to-figure-out-what-you-really-want

1. Define the Problem

Defining the problem is the first step in a continuous improvement process. It’s also the most important – if you have the wrong problem, you’ll come up with the wrong solution. Especially if you don’t know what you really want.

Think about it this way: if you believe your problem is that you’re not getting the opportunities to take on more challenging projects at work, then your solution might be to get a new job. But, if the problem really is your limiting belief that you’re not good enough or a fear of failure or rejection, you’ll wind up in the same situation in a new job.

So instead of jumping right into solution mode, it’s important to take a step back and really think about what you want to change about your career. Then, you’ll use the next three steps to help you further define the problem before you can solve it.

Start by asking yourself the following questions:
What isn’t working in your career (or life) right now?
Why is it important to fix this?
What will you have once this is resolved?

Once you have a clear picture of the problem you want to solve, you can move on to the next step.

2. Mind Map the Current State

Now normally in this step of the process, I’d get out a bunch of sticky notes, markers and flip charts, and we’d start to map out the process, step by step. “What do you do next? Then what happens?”

You get the picture.

Instead, we’ll focus on the good things that are happening in your career and life. Even in dire situations, there’s always at least one positive thing you’d want to keep as you move to your next job or career.

Maybe that’s the flexibility to work from home (or anywhere), or your salary, or managing people or teams, or opportunities for travel. Think about the things you love about your job or career right now. What do you want more of? What do you not want to lose?

This exercise also helps you cultivate gratitude and appreciation for what you already have. When you don’t know what you really want from your career, gratitude can help put things into perspective.

What you appreciate appreciates. Said another way, when you feel genuine gratitude for the good things in your life, you’ll get more of those good things. And, those good feelings of appreciation will also attract more of what you want into your life.

To mind map your current state, grab a blank sheet of paper or your favorite journal. In the middle of the page, write your current job title and draw a circle around it. Then, think about what’s going well in your career right now. Write each word around the outside of your circle, and draw a line connecting it to the center circle.

Then, think about why you’re grateful for the things going well in your career. Draw a line from each of the positive things and write down why you’re grateful for that aspect of your job. Continue around the circle until you’ve filled the page with gratitude and appreciation.

If you don’t know what you really want in life, you’re not alone. Thousands, if not millions, of people wander the earth every day without a quest. If you don’t want to spend your life wandering aimlessly, you can use the following 7 tips to find out exactly what you want in life.

Be selfish
You can’t pinpoint exactly what you want in life if you’re constantly sacrificing your time and dreams for other people. You have to put yourself first. Ask yourself: If you weren’t tied down by your job, family, friends, or anything else, then what would you be doing right now? Always remember that it’s okay to put yourself first, because if you don’t, then no one else will.

Regret nothing
Don’t feel bad for being selfish. It’s your life. It’s time for you to live it exactly the way you want to. If you constantly regret things you did or didn’t do in the past, then you won’t be able to move forward. Don’t live in the past. Live in the present…and the future!

Figure out what you need
Sit down and think about what you need the most. Is it your family? The freedom to express yourself? Love? Financial security? Something else?

Sometimes it’s hard to figure out what you need. So taking this Life Assessment can definitely help. By taking this free assessment, you will be able to identify what aspects of your life need more attention, and what’s holding you back from leading the life you want.

Then, you can make a list of priorities. Also think about the kind of legacy you want to leave behind.

Determine what really bothers you
You can soar only by pushing back against something you don’t want. Figure out what upsets you, and be specific about it. Don’t just say that you hate your office job. Pinpoint exactly why you hate it. Could it be your micromanaging boss? Your workload? Your meaningless job title? Or all of the above? What bothers you, and how can you fix it? How much do you want to fix it?

Determine what makes you truly happy
There’s no waste to life if you’re happy living it. Your happiness is the root of your desires. So take a few moments and really think about what makes you happy. Is it traveling? Being around children? Owning a successful business? Your significant other? Financial freedom?

Once you pinpoint the one thing that makes you happy the most, you’ll have a clear idea of what you should strive for in your life.

Let people around you know what you’re trying to achieve
Don’t keep your goals and desires to yourself. Voice it all out! If you tell people what you’re trying to accomplish, they will most likely support you and give you new ideas. Sometimes mother does know best!

Stay positive.
Life doesn’t always go how you want it. Don’t feel dismay as your plans stray. Take control. Instead of freaking out, try your best to roll with the changes. You will get there someday. You’re just taking a little detour. Sometimes a positive attitude is all you need to keep going.

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