How To Have a Good Day

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Science Essentials 
Two-System Brain
Your deliberate system (System 2) is responsible for sophisticated functions such as reasoning, self-control, and forward thinking. It excels in handling anything unfamiliar, complex, or abstract. But it has limited capacity and gets tired quickly. When it’s overused, overloaded, or distracted, it’s harder for you to be wise, balanced, or reliable.
Your automatic system lightens the load on your deliberate system by automating most of what you do and taking fast shortcuts that filter out “irrelevant” information and options. That’s mostly helpful. But it inevitably leaves you with blind spots. And the fact that nobody ever experiences an entirely objective version of reality can lead to crossed wires and poor choices in the workplace.
You make the most of your brain’s talents if you adjust for the limitations of each system. That means creating the conditions for your deliberate system to function at its best, and recognizing when to slow down and come off autopilot.
Discover-Defend Axis
You’re constantly moving along a discover-defend axis in your daily life, as your brain scans for threats to defend against and rewards to seek out and discover.
In defensive mode, you become less smart and flexible, as your brain devotes some of its scarce mental energy to launching a fight-flight-freeze response to a potential “threat”—leaving less energy to power your brain’s deliberate system. Defensive mode can even be triggered by small personal slights.
In discovery mode, you’re motivating yourself with rewards: a social sense of belonging or recognition; a personal sense of autonomy, competence, or purpose; or informational rewards that come from learning or experiencing new things.
To be at your most resourceful in handling workplace challenges, it helps to become adept at recognizing when you’re sliding into defensive mode. Refocusing attention on potential rewards in the situation at hand can also help to reengage your deliberate system and shift you back into discovery mode.
Mind Body Loop
The way you treat your body has a direct, immediate impact on your brain’s performance, affecting both its cognitive and emotional functions.
Specifically, your brain’s deliberate system performs far better when you’ve had enough sleep, some aerobic exercise, and a few moments of mindfulness.
Mimicking the physical actions associated with feeling happy, confident, and relaxed appears to tell your brain that you are in fact happy, confident, and relaxed, creating a self-fulfilling loop.

Priorities
Choosing Your Filters
Take a moment to think about the day ahead, or an important conversation you have coming up. Ask yourself these intention-setting questions: 
Aim: What matters most in making this a success, and what does that mean your real priority should be? 
Attitude: What concerns are dominating your thoughts or your mood? Do they help you with your priorities—and if not, can you choose to set them aside for now? 
Assumptions: What negative expectations do you have going into this? How might you challenge those expectations? What counter evidence might you seek out? 
Attention: Given your real aim and your assumptions, where do you most want to direct your attention? What do you want to make particularly sure you notice?
Setting Great Goals
Set some behavioral goals. Personally, what behavior of yours will support your intentions for the day? Specifically, what tangible actions can you plan to take? Put these on your to-do list along with your regular tasks. 
Articulate your goals for the win. Phrase them so that they’re positive, meaningful, feasible, and situation-specific.
Create “approach” goals. Make sure your goals are about doing desirable things, or doing more of them, rather than avoiding bad things happening. If they’re negative in tone, turn them around.
Find a personal why. Can you articulate why the goal matters to you or how it will benefit something you care about?
Break off bite-sized chunks. If the actions to take are unclear, break your goal down into smaller, bite-sized chunks. Get especially clear on the very first step to take to make progress.
Make a “when-then” plan. Define clear situational prompts (“when X happens, then I will do Y”) to increase the chances that you’ll get your most important goals met today. 
Create a brain-friendly to-do list. Whichever approach you take to task management, make sure you don’t overload your brain’s working memory and that you feed your reward system.
Reinforcing Your Intentions
Mental contrasting. What’s most likely to get in the way of you achieving what you hope to do? What can you do to reduce the chance that this obstacle derails you—ideally by making a specific “when-then” plan? 
Priming. What cues can you use to remind yourself to stay on track today? Are there words or phrases that will help remind you of your intentions? How can you make your surroundings a good metaphor for your intentions? 
Mind’s-eye rehearsal. Take a moment to visualize the most important part of your day going exactly as you hope. What will you be doing to overcome the challenges in your path? How will that look and feel? Can you recall a time in the past where you behaved just as you want to behave today, and bring that vividly to mind?

Productivity

Singletasking
Look at your schedule for today, and organize your tasks to allow your brain to work at its best (and get more done as a result). Try the following: 
Batch your tasks. Group together similar tasks (e.g., email, calls, and reading), so you’re not constantly switching from one mental mode to another. 
Zone your day. Decide on the best time of day to tackle each batch of tasks, including one or two “email zones.” Create longer blocks of uninterrupted time for your most important work. Can you move some appointments to create clearer zones? 
Remove distractions. Minimize interruptions, to help you focus your attention on the task at hand. Which alerts can you switch off? Can you use an app to block access to certain websites? Decide on a good “parking lot” technique to allow you to capture stray thoughts before they derail your focus. 
Plan small rewards for good behavior. How can you reward yourself for remaining focused while you singletask—for example, by setting a timer, or keeping a log? 
Share your wisdom. Can you be proactive in explaining your scheduling choices to colleagues? (Feel free to try the “a1b2c3…” exercise with them, to demonstrate why you’ve been keen to multitask less these days.)
Planning Deliberate Downtime
Look at your schedule for today and tomorrow, and plan for the following: 
Take smart breaks. How can you make sure you take regular breaks, at least every ninety minutes and between each “zone” of tasks in your day? 
Make decisions at peaks (not troughs). Which tasks will require you to make a lot of choices? How can you make them when your brain is freshest? 
Schedule breathing room. Can you schedule meetings or offer your time in blocks of twenty-five or forty-five minutes (instead of thirty or sixty minutes), to create micro-breaks between commitments? For commitments that are already scheduled, can you aim to wrap up a little early? 
Allow reflection time. At the end of each task or meeting, take thirty seconds to capture your biggest insights. Try an end-of-day reflection practice such as DATE (discovered, achieved, thankful for, experienced).
Overcoming Overload
Next time you’re feeling overloaded, try these strategies—in fact, why not try them right now? 
Mindful pause. Give your brain’s deliberate system a chance to fully engage, by pausing to focus on your breath (or scanning your body, or counting back from one hundred) for five minutes. 
Get it out of your head. Write down everything that’s swirling around your mind, even the tiniest to-dos. 
Most important thing. What really matters most right now, either because it has to happen today or because it has the biggest impact? 
Smallest first step. What’s the very first step you can take toward doing that most important thing—something small enough to do today? 
Comparative advantage. What are you uniquely well placed to do—and what could others do, even if not as well as you? Focus on tasks where the gap between your capabilities and other people’s is biggest. 
Positive no. For a commitment that you need to delegate or decline: start with warmth; say what you’re saying “yes” to; say your “no”; end with warmth. 
Setting boundaries. If you could set one boundary in the way you organize your time, what would it be? What’s the clearest, cleanest way to communicate this preference to others? 
Automate small daily decisions. Consider whether you can do something at the same time or in the same way each day, to spend more of your mental energy on the things that matter. 
And finally: remember that you’ll lessen your feeling of being overloaded if you also take the singletasking advice from Chapter 4 and the downtime advice from Chapter 5, since both will boost your mental performance and productivity.

Beating Procrastination
Think about the item on your to-do list that you’ve been avoiding for a while. (If you don’t have one, please take a bow, and skip to the next chapter.) 
Picture the benefits. What will be better as a result of getting this done, for you and for others? How great will that feel? Think back to the last time you got something like this done—what was the upside? 
Plan a short-term reward. How could you plan to reward yourself for today’s progress toward the end goal, if it’s a long haul? 
Tie the first step to something you like. Identify the first small step you need to take. Then find a way to link that to something you are definitely going to do today and that you enjoy doing. 
Amplify the downside of inaction. How can you sharpen your sense of the costs of not getting it done? What pre-commitments can you make, ideally involving other people? 
Ask the five whys. If you’re still finding yourself reluctant to make progress, ask yourself five “why” questions. What surfaces as the real blockage? What can you do to address that?
 
Relationships
Building Real Rapport
For your next conversation where rapport is important: 
Set collaborative intentions. Set intentions that focus on improving the quality of the relationship, not on your agenda. Check your negative assumptions. Decide to find the other person interesting. 
Ask quality questions. Get really curious about the other person. Turn some of your regular closed, factual questions into open questions that invite them to share their thoughts and feelings about a topic (and that can’t be answered with a yes or no). Show that you’re listening by following up with a “tell me more” about one thing they said. 
Create a sense of in-group. Look for points of similarity or connection—shared goals, gripes, or interests—to create a sense of in-group that means the other person’s brain sees you as friend rather than foe. 
Use reciprocal disclosure. If you’d like the other person to open up to you, think about what you’re willing to show and share of yourself. 
Pocket that phone. If you need to stay reachable while having an important conversation, make your ringtone loud enough to hear from your pocket or bag.
Resolving Tensions
If there’s someone who’s causing you stress at the moment, try one or more of these techniques: 
Find common ground. If you disagree on something, use the following process: articulate the other person’s perspective as if you truly believe it; identify what you both agree on; isolate the real disagreement; explore how you could both be right; and decide what you can do based on what you agree on. 
Spread positive contagion. Your own mood can be infectious. Decide what emotion you want to project into the conversation, and visualize something that can quickly put you in that state of mind. 
Assume “good person, bad circumstances.” Get clear on the “true facts”: what you know for sure. Then assume that the other person has good intent, and imagine the circumstances that could be causing his or her behavior. (Refer to the list of classic defensive mode triggers for inspiration.) 
Notice-acknowledge-offer. If you can have a direct conversation, use the “notice-acknowledge-offer” approach to check that you understand the issue and to move things forward. Invite the person to talk (“I noticed that…”), show empathy (“I’m sorry, that must be challenging…”), and offer support (“Is there anything I can do?”). 
Manage your own baggage. Identify your hot-button patterns—triggers that you particularly respond to—and your early warning signs. Decide on a quick “step back and reset” routine, including a question to fully engage your deliberate system (e.g., “What really matters here?”). 
Raise difficult issues with skill. Set your collaborative intention. Then, in the conversation: ask permission, make your factual observation, share your feelings (and why the issue matters to you), invite the other person’s perspective, and jointly discuss a solution.
Bringing the Best Out of Others
Think about someone who’s doing some work for you—or someone you want to help. Experiment with these techniques: 
Extreme listening. Improve the quality of the other person’s thinking by listening to him or her unusually closely, without interrupting. 
Coach, don’t tell. Use the GROW questions to guide the other person through clarity on the goal, the current reality, the options they see (add yours only after they share theirs), and the way forward. 
Give brain-friendly feedback. Use one or more of these three techniques next time you want to provide input or challenge someone’s ideas: •
 “What I like(d) about that is…” and “What would make me like it even more is…” • 
“Yes, and…” (rather than “Yes, but…”). • 
“What would need to be true to make that work?” 
Be fair. Be as transparent as you can in explaining the process for making tough decisions. Be alert to anything the other person might perceive as unfair, even if you don’t see it as such.

Thinking: Being Your Smartest, Wisest, Most Creative
Reaching Insight
When you need a flash of inspiration on a thorny topic, try the following: 
Pose a question. When you’re feeling blocked, ask yourself: “What would be a totally different approach to this?” “What would be a great way of going about solving this?” “If I knew the answer, what would it be?” 
Refresh and reboot. Try shifting your focus to a different type of task for a while, before returning to the original issue. 
Switch views. Try a different way of describing or looking at the issue you’re working on, and notice what patterns or insights come to the surface: • 
Write about it in longhand for ten minutes. • “
Rubber duck” it: explain the issue to someone unfamiliar with it.
Create a physical map of your issue, e.g. using sticky notes. 
Find an analogy. Expose yourself to a different type of stimulus (e.g. observe another organization’s ways of working; view websites or images from fields different from yours), and ask yourself: How is this like the topic I’m working on? How is it different? What new idea does that suggest I could explore?

Making Wise Decisions
Next time you have a choice to make, whether big or small: 
Notice when your automatic system is talking. “It’s obviously right [or obviously wrong].” “I recently heard XYZ…therefore…” “Everyone agrees.” “I understand it—so I like it!” “Let’s just stick with what we know.” “There’s only one real option.” 
Adopt a cross-check routine. Try each of these cross-check questions, and decide to make at least one of them part of your personal routine: 
Don’t default: “What would be another option, and what do its advantages tell me?” 
Play devil’s advocate: “What would be another way of seeing this?” 
Mandate dissent: “If you had to raise a concern, what would you say?” 
Never say never: “Is it always/never/absolutely the case?” • 
Conduct a pre-mortem: “If this goes horribly wrong, what will have caused that?” 
Watch out for system fatigue. If you feel impatient, distracted, or clumsy, give your deliberate system a mindful pause. Shift your focus to more routine tasks. Take extra cross-checking steps to compensate for your automatic system’s shortcuts. 
Resolve dilemmas with greater ease. Ask “What could I do?” rather than “What should I do?”

Boosting Your Brainpower
In your next big task, try the following techniques to help you think as clearly as possible: 
Start with positive framing. Think about something positive before getting into the tough stuff. For example: review recent progress or positive events; start with the ideal (and work back from that). 
Draw the issue tree. Break a complex task down into its constituent parts, step by step, to allow you to focus on one thing at a time and reduce the load on your brain. 
Harness your social brain. Imagine parts of your problem as people; imagine a real person you know walking through the issue you’re wrestling with (as a user or customer). 
Look after the smart basics. Remove distractions; surround yourself with cues that you associate with good thinking; don’t skimp on sleep; do some physical activity.

Influence: Maximizing the Impact of All You Say and Do
Getting Through Their Filters
Next time you’re intent on getting a message across: 
Provide a reward: surprise, novelty, or anticipation. Aim to get your audience to want to tell others what you said. Flag clearly the most interesting aspects of what you’re saying, so they don’t get buried, and promise a “reveal.” Try a different medium for getting your information across (e.g., posters, videos, hand-drawn pictures). Adopt an unusual vantage point. 
Emphasize the human angle, with the formula: “people plus positive emotion.” Show how your idea affects real people, and invite your audience to put themselves in their shoes. Explain why your message means so much to you or your audience. Inspire them by painting the picture of a potential positive outcome for everyone involved. Make it “fluent.” The easier it is to understand and remember, the more compelling your message will be. So: keep it simple and short; use signposts; use sticky phrases; give concrete examples; if you can, include a visual image to illustrate your point. 
Overcome the curse of knowledge. Don’t assume they know what you know. Ask what they understand and feel about the topic under discussion, and work from there. Stop to check their perspective as you’re talking.

Making Things Happen
When you next need help, support, or engagement from someone: 
Provide context. Give at least a brief reason for your request, to explain why it matters. 
Make it easy for them.
Work out what might prevent people from doing what you hope, and remove that barrier. (And because effort is a general barrier to action, make your desired option the “do nothing” option where you can.) 
Make a concrete suggestion to “anchor” the discussion and reduce the amount of thought needed. (For numerical negotiations, try suggesting a range between your realistic desired outcome and an even better one.)
Provide visual cues that draw attention to the outcome you want. 
Bring the benefits to life. Don’t assume that the benefits of what you’re asking are obvious to others. Paint a picture that shows how it will help them personally (or causes they care about). Proactively address anything that might seem like a downside. 
Use social proof. Show how similar people have already done what you’re asking. If you have aspirations to engage a lot of people, first find and focus on the (sometimes hidden) influencers: “experts,” “hubs,” and “gatekeepers.” 
Get them involved. When your success requires full buy-in from other people, let them contribute in some way. Ask for people’s views, and then connect your idea or request to their own thoughts on the topic. Ask for advice before you ask for help. Leave room for people to come up with options or make some of their own choices. 
Give as well as take. Respect the principle of reciprocity. Ask yourself what you can offer the person whose help or support you need.

Conveying Confidence
Think about the next time you know you’re going to want to be your most confident self. Try these techniques: 
Reframe nerves as excitement. When you notice the physical signs of being keyed up, such as faster heartbeat and breathing, see them as evidence of your readiness for the challenge. Think “game on” rather than “game over.” 
Connect to your values. What really matters to you in life and work? What’s the bigger purpose of what you’re asking or advocating? Keep that front of mind for yourself, perhaps by writing a note to yourself before your big moment. Focus your message on the things you most care about. 
Take your space. Plan to give yourself five minutes beforehand to stand straight, throw your arms wide, and square your shoulders. In the situation itself, make just as sure to “take your space” then, too, by sitting tall rather than hunching over with folded arms. 
Score more personal recognition. Apply all the influencing advice from Part V in the way you talk about your personal achievements, as shown in the list above. Keep track of your small day-to-day successes, so that neither you nor your boss has to rely on imperfect memories to recall all you’ve achieved. 
Do also revisit the advice from Chapter 3: mental contrasting, priming, and mind’s-eye rehearsal. All those techniques can help boost your self-assurance when you’re facing a challenge.

Resilience: Sailing Through Setbacks
Keeping a Cool Head
You can’t know for sure when the next curveball is going to come your way. But you can do some preparation to make sure you have “stay cool” techniques ready for the next time it happens. Practice with whatever is most bothering you at the moment. 
Label it. Write down how you feel about this situation, and why. 
Get some distance. Try: talking to yourself in the second person, addressing yourself as “you”; looking back from the future; wearing someone else’s shoes, perhaps those of your “best self”; imagining you’re advising a friend. 
Ask a rewarding question.
Ask: “How fascinating! What can I learn from this?”
Think of a crucible moment, where you overcame a challenge in the past. Ask: “What qualities allowed me to overcome that? What does that tell me about my ability to improve this situation?” 
Ask: “What am I really trying to achieve? How can I refocus on that?” 
Do some diaphragmatic breathing. Get used to the unfamiliar sensation of your lungs being truly full. Repeat a few times and notice the effects.
 Master the unknown. Consider the issue where you’re facing most uncertainty at the moment. Work out what you do know or control.

Moving On
To practice the techniques from this chapter, pick a recent negative event that still annoys or upsets you when you think about it. 
Reappraise the situation. What are the true facts? What are you assuming? (Are any of those assumptions personal, pervasive, or permanent?) What would be an alternative way of explaining the facts? What evidence might support that alternative interpretation? 
Ditch your sunk costs. For a situation that’s failing to improve despite your efforts, ignore sunk costs and look only at the future costs and benefits of investing more versus walking away. In the benefits of walking away, include what you’ve learned from the experience. 
Find a way through when someone screws up. Avoid putting the person deeper into defensive mode: acknowledge they may not have intended to screw up; talk about their actions, not their character; focus on solutions, not on blame (for now). Use distancing techniques and rewarding questions (from Chapter 17) to reduce stress levels. Then work back from the ideal outcome you both want, using the positive framing technique (from Chapter 13) to keep everyone in discovery mode as you solve the problem.

Staying Strong
Whenever you’re facing a lot of ups and downs, work the mind-body loop: 
Sleep. Stay calmer and wiser by taking extra care to prioritize your sleep routine. If that’s especially tough to achieve right now, consider whether there’s a way you could take a nap now and then. 
Exercise. You can instantly clear your head and lift your mood with twenty minutes of moderate exercise. Split it into two or three chunks of fast walking if that helps you fit it into your day. 
Mindfulness. Try a few different pause-and-focus techniques, and then build your favorite one into your daily routine to reap some of the cognitive and emotional benefits of mindfulness.

Energy: Boosting Your Enthusiasm and Enjoying

Topping Up the Tank
To become more adept at boosting your energy on tiring days, take the following steps: 
Experiment with the seven energy boosters. See which of these works best for you: 
three good things; 
random acts of kindness; 
finding something interesting; 
giving yourself a quick win; 
making time for social connection; 
finding a personal purpose;
 smiling widely (even if you’re not quite feeling it). 
Know thyself. Identify where your typical energy highs and lows usually occur. Notice what tends to boost or drain you. (Look for patterns in the mental, physical, and social activities involved; surroundings and times of day; the themes of the seven boosters above—gratitude, generosity, curiosity, achievement, connection, purpose, and humor.) Decide on one or two reliable strategies you can use to preempt or reverse a slump when it happens. 
End on a high note. Plot how to end each day—and indeed every interaction or task—on a high note, to take advantage of the peak-end effect. Try the three good things as an evening routine. 
And to underpin all of this, do refer back to Chapter 5 on downtime and Chapter 19 on staying strong to remind yourself why and how to build enough energy-boosting breaks and bodily maintenance into

Playing to Your Strengths
To sustain your professional energy and enthusiasm (and boost your performance) over time: 
Identify your signature strengths. Set aside time to reflect on your signature strengths—the personal qualities, values, and skills that are characteristic of you when you’re at your best. Examine your peaks, ask others for input, and take a survey. Notice the themes that emerge. 
Apply your strengths more consciously. Every day for a week, find a way to play to one of your strengths more fully in the way you approach your work. When you take on new challenges, consider how to use your personal strengths to help you embrace the things you need to learn. 
Harness your personal interests for reinspiration. Be creative about ways you can relate your personal interests to your work. What insight or tool might you be able to bring into your professional life?

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